Happy Birthday Alexander!!!

Today Oleksandr Vladamirich Zuyok is 28 years old. Happy birthday baby!

Girl Fights & Slippers

I think when I go home I'm going to have a Russian-style (note: I say "Russian" and not "Ukrainian" quite a bit only because that's what THEY say here. Most people in Chernigov seem to think of themselves and their traditions as, at least partly, Russian.) dinner party. This is what it will look like:

First, when everyone arrives they will take off their shoes and I will give them a pair of slippers to wear. This is very important. Shoes are never worn in houses here and it is seriously not okay to be slipper-less. At first this tradition seemed strange to me... I'd spend 15 minutes finding the perfect pair of shoes and end up wearing slippers adorned with a big plush dog... but I've gotten over it and mostly opt for comfortable shoes to navigate the impossible ice-ridden sidewalks and streets of Chernigov.

So, after everyone has their pair of slippers we'll go into the living room where I've put a table and scraped together chairs from all over the house. Some people will be towering over the table, others won't be able to see over it. I will have a water-proof table cloth over the table. When everyone arrives the cold food will already be on the table: beet salad, carrot salad, Russian salad, olives, pickles, pickled tomatoes, bread with butter and salmon or meat, cheeses, deviled eggs, mushrooms and some kind of salami or blood sausage. When everyone sits down I'll bring out the hot dishes: potatoes and perhaps some kind of meat. Then we'll drink wine and vodka and probably some kind of homemade sweet tasteless juice. Between every bite we will toast and (at least the males will) drink another shot of vodka. Then we will sit there for at least a few hours nibbling with cigarette-breaks every ten minutes. Eventually we will have tea or coffee and something sweet and everyone will leave around midnight.

Let's plan this for around... March 5th?

Actually, I enjoy dinner parties here quite a lot although I'm still pretty skeptical about their food. I assume that happens with most cultures though... throw someone into a new eating situation at age 23 (eep almost 24) and you're bound to have some issues.

And now to girl fights. We had dinner at Nastya and Oleg's last night (who I always enjoying hanging out with because Nastya speaks English and I generally really like them and their little girl) and we mentioned that we had been to dinner somewhere the night before and Nastya asked where and when Alex answered she started laughing: "She wanted to beat me up once." And then there was laughing and talk in Russian and eventually I got the story: Once upon a time many years ago Alex dated a girl and then broke up with her. When this happened the girl got pissed and instead of taking it out on Alex, took it out on any girl who was friends with him. (Like, Nastya) and went around school threatening to beat up any girl who dared to speak to him. Eventually he had to intervene because everyone was terrified of her. I'd actually heard this story before but didn't realize that this girl was the same girl who so graciously hosted us last night... the same girl whose baby I held and who gave me socks as we left. I wonder if she thought I knew. Anyway, it was pretty funny and led to a conversation about girl fights... Apparently around here girls fight all the time. (As do guys, trust me there.) It kind of shocked me and I'm a little bit afraid to go anywhere alone now..... What if someone beats me up?????

"I'm glad to see an American with intellect in her eyes."

And here's to Ukrainians being redeemed in my book! We just had a lovely dinner with some friends of Alex, although thanks to my last experience with Alex's friends at first I was a little nervous (see "The Truth About Cross-Cultural Relationships) and we had to walk over about three miles of ice (I was in heels, of course) to get there which didn't put me in a great mood. Someone has got to introduce salting and sanding to this country or I'm going to slip and fall and break something and be very pissed off. Anyway, we got there and there were two little babies and couples and it was all just very grown-up and I sort of felt like I was in the wrong place. Shouldn't I still be playing Edward-40-hands with shitfaced college kids? Anyway, we started dinner and since Alex proclaimed my Russian "ochen ploha" no one really tried to talk to me at first and I felt really awkward and nervous... but slowly everyone started to try to talk and I got my nerve up to speak Russian (which is difficult, you don't understand until you have to do it... but speaking a language that you aren't good at is so hard because it makes you feel stupid and that's just no fun). Anyway, I was finally starting to warm up to everyone when Alex had to leave "just for a minute" because there was this raffle for a car that he had to go to in case he won. I let him and the second he left two of the guys started speaking fairly good English to me. Sometimes it takes some vodka to get those language-juices flowing. Anyway, Alex ended up being gone for like two hours and I had a great time without him. I held babies (!!!! Someone remind me that I don't want one) and talked politics and was assured that only stupid Ukrainians and stupid Americans think badly of people from other countries simply because they're different. "People aren't governments" someone said. Exactly. (Someone also said what I quoted as the title of this blog post. I was kind of flattered.) They also had me try some traditional Ukrainian food like lard on black bread (okay it didn't taste bad, but eww) and we drank cognac (of course). When Alex returned everyone had left but the hosting couple. We hung out for a while longer and I played with their 7-month-old baby. When we left they invited us to come again soon and invited me to come over anytime to play with the baby. And then, as I was walking out the door, they gave me a present: cute little Russian socks. It was pretty adorable.

Now, pajalousta, remind me how babies keep you up all night...

Skinny.

Earlier today Alex was making himself a snack. "This is very typically Russian." he said as he stacked salami and cheese on black bread and then topped it all off with a huge dollop of mayonnaise. "How are you all so SKINNY?" I asked. (Seriously, I'd say like 90% of the under-30s here are like toothpicks.) "Uhh. Well the girls don't eat bread. Do you remember that girl that came over the other day with Vara? She eats once a day, and like a bird. That's all girls care about here, being skinny."

Sooo... guys eat high-fat diets and girls... don't eat. Lovely.

And then, at the grocery store later on, Alex purchased "chocolate butter."

The Internet

Despite what many people think, Ukraine is NOT a third-world country and we do have such luxuries as running water and the Internet. Or, a lot of people have the Internet. Alex, at the moment, does not. (I do.) You see, last night Roman was trying to connect Alex's ipod to the Internet using a computer-to-computer network on Alex's computer. And then he really fucked up Alex's Internet. None of us could fix it last night and this morning Alex called the Internet provider. "We'll come by at 4:30," the guy said, "but it's going to cost you." Alex reported this to me when he got off the phone. Then he smiled. "Ten Grieven." (A little more than a dollar.)

And that's how things go. Labor is SO CHEAP here I can't believe it... which sort of sucks for everyone since you can't buy a cup of coffee with 10 Grieven.

Maybe we should get a housekeeper.

The Truth About Cross-Cultural Relationships

So far I've found basically all Ukrainians unusually pleasant. Until tonight. Alex's friend Nastya (Since I already know a Nastya, let's call her Anastacia, her full name.) has been dyinngg to meet me and calls almost every day trying to set something up. Finally, today, we decided to go over to her place for a little Cognac-infused get together. By the time we got there everyone was drunk and Nastya was very nice to me. She's a professional plane-jumper-outer-person and showed me her medals and a poster of herself. She also said nice things about me to Alex. I stumbled in conversation with the other people there and one guy in particular creeped me out. I think he was on drugs and he kept asking me political questions in a hybrid bad English and way-too-fast Russian. His first question: Do you like Ukraine? I answered yes and he grilled me about how I could possibly like it here when the president blah blah blah. It was very uncomfortable. Anyway, as the night went on there was a lot of arguing going on at the table and I sensed I had something to do with it because Sargay kept telling me that "it's ok". Well... apparently sweet like Anastacia suddenly decided that she hates America and hates Americans and couldn't understand why Sasha would be with one. Everyone stood to defend me, and by the end of the night she was very apologetic about the outburst, but it brought out a good point that I avoid thinking about: A lot of people are NEVER going to accept Alex and me being together. On the outside, they might, but deep down a lot of people, in America and in Ukraine, are going to have a problem with it. I witnessed it in America and of course it works the other way. Americans aren't exactly loved across the world, even post-election... and I know a lot of people here question why he didn't settle down with a nice Ukrainian girl.

It depresses me. Alex is a good person. I like to think of myself as a good person. We're in love. Shouldn't that be enough for EVERYONE ELSE? Or maybe I shouldn't care, but as much as I try to forget it... it still bothers me quite a bit.

OBAMA (Cade, don't read this)

Obama is president. Yesterday was the first day I felt homesick because I seriously wanted to be in America for such a historic event. Alex and I ended up watching the inauguration streaming on the Internet. The quality sort of sucked, but I got the picture. I was screaming and clapping and Alex was giggling at me and mom was trying to Skype me.

Yesterday was a big day for America and it was a really big day for all of us who have been working so hard the past 8 years to get a bloody Democrat in the White House. The only time in my life I have ever truly felt depressed was the week after Bush was "reelected". I just walked around in this horrible daze feeling... hopeless. I remember some acquaintance came up to me while I was walking to class a few days after the 2004 election and asked me, "How are you?" Instead of the typical, "Oh, I'm fine." I was like, "Absolutely terrible." And then I walked away.

And here we are, four years later, and I want to run up to Ukrainians on the street and shake them and ask if they understand how amazing yesterday was.

(Side story: I was talking to Alex's friend Vara about politics yesterday and he told me he supports Democracy with some facets of communism and when he said that I laughed because that word still seems so... taboo... to me. I was surprised by my own reaction.)

One of the first things I thought about yesterday was the bumper sticker Mason had on his car that just had the date 1-20-08 on it. It seemed kind of unreal that it was that day. And not a moment too soon.

One thing makes me nervous though, and maybe this is totally rediculous, but there was this old Russian witch way back when who told the future and the last thing she ever predicted was, "The first black American president will be the last American president." Everyone keeps talking about it here and it terrifies me. What's happening with our world that makes that seem like it could be a possibility?

Good luck, Barack.